Long Beach, CA, USA

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Why Did You Have To Ask That

August 18, 2016

A couple of weeks ago I was on the phone with someone I haven't spoken with in a while and she had asked "How is your mom doing?" and when I had told her she had passed she had then asked "what happened?"... I had to tell the story and try hard not to let it affect me because this was the following week after the week I decided God is going to be my peace. By God's grace I was okay after answering that question followed up by the details. Today I was put in a similar situation at work. My dad and I were helping a customer and I was talking with her and she had asked if I fished and what not. She had asked "is that your dad?", I replied yes and she "very nice, man." She had then asked me if my mom likes to fish to which I replied: "She did." She replied "oh, not so much anymore?" I then had to reply with the words I still have trouble speaking: "No, she passed away in September." The lady then said "Oh, I'm sorry. Are you guys okay?" Was it expected?" I then had to reply MORE about the situation I don't like to talk much about with "No, she got sick and went into septic shock." She then replied " oh my, well I'm sure she's in a much better place now" to which I then agreed to because she was a woman of faith. She went on to say how it's important to keep faith because that's what gets us through the hard times. (previously wrote this part of the draft in August)
While I hate answering the "what happened?" question, I'm glad I am able to say she was a woman of faith. I am able to say my mom was a woman of faith and loved Jesus and trusted God even when it wasn't easy. Not every daughter is able to say this about their mom, but I'm blessed that I am able to. I get to see my mom again some day! That puts a smile on my face. No, I don't get to hug her before I fall asleep tonight or do all the mom and daughter stuff I wish I could have done with her like most of the girls my age get to do, but I do have the privilege of rejoicing in the fact I will have everlasting life with her. When it's my time to go I'll get to praise Jesus with her. I used to be afraid of the thought of dying and what not, but since my mom passed I've felt reassured that there are better things to come, especially with the dreams I've had. She is absolutely glowing and so, so happy in heaven. 
My mom left me with the most valuable gift she could have given me, the gift of my faith or rather the knowledge of being able to call Jesus my Savior. Yes I was raised Christian and brought up that Jesus is my Savior and God is all mighty, but lately I've had to claim that faith as my own and not just live as a believer because I was raised that way, but because I believe it even on the days I feel like God has given me too hard of a life. I choose to believe Christ is my Savior and I have an almighty Father. 
My mom followed God's plan; she is in heaven now and she is glowing with happiness up there. I'll see her when it's my time to leave this place, but for now she's having the time of her life without me. This should be my answer to that question, or at least something like that. To answer my question: "Why did you have to ask that?" maybe the answer is so that I can share a glimpse of my (God's) story to others and hopefully be a blessing. That's really all I want to be in life a blessing and a minister of God's love. I should use this question wisely when I'm asked and respond with God given wisdom so that He may use me for His good.
​God Bless

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